Stupid Brain

I don't know if it's hormones, being bipolar, or Toddlers & Tiaras, but these suicidal ideations are worrisome.

Closing Chapters, Big and Small.

So Michael moved out. I dated him for almost 3 years and have known him for 4. I thought him leaving was going to tear me to pieces. I even drank almost a full bottle of whiskey the night he left to prepare myself. It went better than I thought it would. Who knows if I'll ever see him again. I took his house and I took his dog. He was an asshole when we dated, and I've been an asshole since May. Who in their right mind attacks someone practically unprovoked?

Now that he's gone, I'm able to live my life the way I wanted to. Free. Loud. Naked.

After closing a big chapter of my life, I had to close a small chapter. My relationship ended today. There are many parallels between my relationship with Josh and David Faley. But with one exception: Josh didn't hurt me. Sure I'm depressed, but I'm not broken. I know things will be okay. I won't need a hospital visit. I won't need my friends to babysit me. I will make it through and not give up on myself. I still feel pretty. I still feel appreciated. This is but a minor setback in crafting The New Ashley. Instead of putting half of my work in to impressing my boyfriend, now everything I do to better myself will be 100% for me. Even if I don't date Josh again, the next person who comes along will be so impressed with me, they'll never let me go. It could be Josh. It could be another guy. Hell, maybe I'll finally snag a girl. Whoever it may be, I'll be the best Ashley Fern Quinn this world has ever seen.