Take it from me. They go hand in hand. Michael and I have spent last night and today assembling Batman (him) and Spider-Man (me) Lego sets. It quite possibly might have brought us closer.
Being able to intensely nerd out and be my crazy self with no judgment or cross-eyed looks directed toward my behavior is refreshing. Sure I may be pretty cosmic and out there about 90% of the time, but I have found that a lot of people find that endearing. I have enjoyed being the entertainment ever since elementary school. Even in class, against my better juvenile judgement. I was terrified of progress reports, because then my parents would know I was acting a fool in class. And that was when the meds came, beginning with Ritalin.
But I digress.
God, that's my favorite conversational segue.
Anyways!
Yes, ladies and gents. Lego Time with your significant other is a calming and peaceful experience. Of course, until you battle out your creations.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Dat Morning Cigarette
Stayed up late and here I am, awake when I usually get up when I have work. Yesterday seemed to go on forever and I am quite alright with that. I think I found my new vice to replace whiskey:
My boyfriend.
My boyfriend.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Life as I Know it: Tales of Happiness, Sadness, BAMFing.
Well, my first relationship of the year turned in to a bust. He wasn't over his ex and just recently got back together with her. It's whatever. I'm just gonna stay on the sidelines and see if she breaks his heart again. After the breakup, I went in to my usual after-breakup-depression state I usually do. I relapsed and cut myself and possibly drank more than normal. At least he explained why it had to happen, which is why it wasn't as bad of a depressive state as it was when Failbot did the same to me last year.
But enough about Josh. What about me. Eh?
Well, I'm in a new relationship that is going better than I could have ever imagined. He puts up with my shit, keeps an eye out on me, isn't tired of me after two weeks, and just... well, gets me. Of course I met him at work; it seems I only date people I work with.
About 4 weeks ago, I got alcohol poisoning for the first time in my 7 year long history with the stuff. I decided to do the unfathomable: Quit drinking. Since dating Michael (I know, I KNOW. It's either a David or a Michael), he's been able to show me how to have a wicked awesome time sober. It's not so bad. On the 24th (Six days before my daughter turns 8 [!!!!!!!]) I will be able to celebrate a month sober. Last time I was sober that long, Failbot passive-aggressively convinced me to stop drinking. This time I'm doing it of my own volition. I have a ton of support from friends and family, of which I can never be thankful enough. I've had a few new experiences as well.
3D dinosaurs. That is all.
All in all, I can say I'm doing relatively well, save for the fact that Abilify gives me fucking hiccups. Loud ones, especially at work.
But enough about Josh. What about me. Eh?
Well, I'm in a new relationship that is going better than I could have ever imagined. He puts up with my shit, keeps an eye out on me, isn't tired of me after two weeks, and just... well, gets me. Of course I met him at work; it seems I only date people I work with.
About 4 weeks ago, I got alcohol poisoning for the first time in my 7 year long history with the stuff. I decided to do the unfathomable: Quit drinking. Since dating Michael (I know, I KNOW. It's either a David or a Michael), he's been able to show me how to have a wicked awesome time sober. It's not so bad. On the 24th (Six days before my daughter turns 8 [!!!!!!!]) I will be able to celebrate a month sober. Last time I was sober that long, Failbot passive-aggressively convinced me to stop drinking. This time I'm doing it of my own volition. I have a ton of support from friends and family, of which I can never be thankful enough. I've had a few new experiences as well.
3D dinosaurs. That is all.
All in all, I can say I'm doing relatively well, save for the fact that Abilify gives me fucking hiccups. Loud ones, especially at work.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Stupid Brain
I don't know if it's hormones, being bipolar, or Toddlers & Tiaras, but these suicidal ideations are worrisome.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Closing Chapters, Big and Small.
So Michael moved out. I dated him for almost 3 years and have known him for 4. I thought him leaving was going to tear me to pieces. I even drank almost a full bottle of whiskey the night he left to prepare myself. It went better than I thought it would. Who knows if I'll ever see him again. I took his house and I took his dog. He was an asshole when we dated, and I've been an asshole since May. Who in their right mind attacks someone practically unprovoked?
Now that he's gone, I'm able to live my life the way I wanted to. Free. Loud. Naked.
After closing a big chapter of my life, I had to close a small chapter. My relationship ended today. There are many parallels between my relationship with Josh and David Faley. But with one exception: Josh didn't hurt me. Sure I'm depressed, but I'm not broken. I know things will be okay. I won't need a hospital visit. I won't need my friends to babysit me. I will make it through and not give up on myself. I still feel pretty. I still feel appreciated. This is but a minor setback in crafting The New Ashley. Instead of putting half of my work in to impressing my boyfriend, now everything I do to better myself will be 100% for me. Even if I don't date Josh again, the next person who comes along will be so impressed with me, they'll never let me go. It could be Josh. It could be another guy. Hell, maybe I'll finally snag a girl. Whoever it may be, I'll be the best Ashley Fern Quinn this world has ever seen.
Now that he's gone, I'm able to live my life the way I wanted to. Free. Loud. Naked.
After closing a big chapter of my life, I had to close a small chapter. My relationship ended today. There are many parallels between my relationship with Josh and David Faley. But with one exception: Josh didn't hurt me. Sure I'm depressed, but I'm not broken. I know things will be okay. I won't need a hospital visit. I won't need my friends to babysit me. I will make it through and not give up on myself. I still feel pretty. I still feel appreciated. This is but a minor setback in crafting The New Ashley. Instead of putting half of my work in to impressing my boyfriend, now everything I do to better myself will be 100% for me. Even if I don't date Josh again, the next person who comes along will be so impressed with me, they'll never let me go. It could be Josh. It could be another guy. Hell, maybe I'll finally snag a girl. Whoever it may be, I'll be the best Ashley Fern Quinn this world has ever seen.
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